"I love your new book", "I follow you on social media to be aware of everything you post". "And what interesting articles you write!" If I tell you this and you believe me -which you should-, unconsciously you will be more predisposed to do something nice for me, much more than if I were a salesperson or editor, maybe today would be my lucky day.
Unconscious thoughts play a crucial role when forming an opinion or making a decision. We can have opposing conscious and unconscious points of view on the same subject, but unconscious ideas have more power than conscious opinions.
So flattering, in addition to being beneficial for the self-esteem of the person being flattered, can be good for us. We can apply this as a company -with respect to our clients- or individually -in relation to our boss and colleagues- or as a strategy in our personal brand. But beware! Flattery requires skill to be truly successful and at no time should we fall into empty flattery or bullying.
My provider pampers me
Customers are the reason being of any company and all of us who are part of one must take care of them regardless of our position. What drives your loyalty? What makes them have a pleasant experience? Customers trust companies that understand and respect them. They value authenticity, that what they say and what they do go hand in hand. Does that "Customer centric" theory ring a bell? (Martin Zwilling explains it to us in his article for Forbes).
Academics Brendan Nyhan and Jason Reifler, have discovered that if we tell people something positive about themselves, they are more likely to change their views on an issue. In fact, if we try to persuade a client while he is aware of it, he will probably find any argument to contradict us or make us stick. But if we manage to persuade him on a gut level, through flattery, we will be able to plant something inside.
My company pampers me
We all know that a good atmosphere at work is essential for our emotional health and our productivity. Therefore, we can also take advantage of the effects of positive feedback both with our colleagues and with our boss or employees.
Between peers it will be a good idea to focus on the positive attributes of a person. In addition, it is a perfect way to start a good relationship. This technique only requires that we observe without prejudice and find something that we really like about that person. Even if that person is on Angelina Jolie's team and we are on Jennifer Aniston's team, in spite of that, there is always something worthy of admiration in others.
In the event that we are the bosses, this resource will be a golden opportunity to promote good internal communication and give feedback. Once we have identified that positive trait in our employees, whatever we have to communicate to them - a failure, for example, or entrusting them with a tedious task - we can tell them while continuing to compliment them on other things. By showing our approval, we build their trust and they will be more likely to communicate with their superiors, which will help us grow as a team.
Be careful! As we have already pointed out, let's never look for the easy compliment and in a meaningless context. If our interlocutor perceives flattery as a tactic to get out of trouble, they will not have a good image of us. We must never forget honesty and be constructive.
In short, who does not want to feel better about themselves and that others feel good about us and also about themselves? Your truth? Us too. So let's make an effort to give positive feedback and generate good feelings in those around us. Let's focus on the positive attributes and be happier.
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